retained soul;

midnight thoughts are the best, the most exciting, the wildest.

right where i found myself start from writing my graduation paper, and now im listening to top 20 chinese music on youtube and learning mandarin while so. 

its so random, yet fun.

maybe life is boring nowadays, or i somehow, well, not somehow-

usually stuck in the same routine, same problem, same unwritten blank space...

now i struggled with overflowing emotions. 

i was afraid.

no, i still am.

my incapability to cope my insecurity got me very best.

it is suffocating, drown me to endless despair.

i'm too overwhelmed by my own mind, playing games in my head.

it was my fault, honestly, that all i can think of, but.

"it isnt fair to blame your not knowing old self, based on you are now when you know everything now."

i was saved.